Saturday, March 4, 2017

Reality Check

I know I post a lot of stories and pictures on my blog of us as a family and what we are doing.  Posts of our family going through our every day lives and mostly the happiest of pictures.  I do want everyone considering fostering or adopting a child with special needs, to know that our core, as a family, is happiness, joy in the Lord and in the family He has created around us. 
We feel very blessed every moment of every day.  As you read my post today, please don't forget these words because they are the truth.
The other reality we live, is that all of the children in our home have special needs that makes life harder than most others lives, every day.  It does not take away from God and His Holiness or cause us to run from Him. In fact it actually does the opposite and causes us to run to Him.  It causes me to stay on my knees in prayer, often in anguish, over our children's health and solutions to bring relief from their hard behaviors.   The hard days do not take away our faith but in fact builds it.  Often these behaviors are so severe or seasons so hard, I have no where to find relief but in God, in prayer and in His scriptures.  We literally live and see miracles almost daily.  Sometimes the progress and relief is in such small increments, I don't see it till I look back to where we were..  We focus on the good and on God.  We live and push (or crawl sometimes) through the hard and tough.  I have learned that my joy is truly in the Lord and not in what is going on around me.   It is not easy by any stretch...I am human... weak, battered and broken at times but given the strength daily for what is ahead.  Our life at times, is self sacrificing but is rewarding and what needs to be done to care for the children God has lent to us and trusted us to raise.  It is what Tim and I feel we are called to and we see fruit from it all.  It is our life and reality.  It is both ugly and beautiful all at the same time sometimes...but through it all...we are so very blessed and content.  This might not make any sense to some people but is so very true.
I never want to paint a picture here on our blog, that when one is led and feels to do foster care, adopt a child with special needs or any child, that it will be all happy, easy and a life of flowers, butterflies and roses. 
That IS there...but often we have to live or go through... anger, grief, hurt, tantrums, very hard behaviors, hospital stays, surgeries and turmoil as well.  But don't we sometimes have these things with our biological children?  Also...God surely had to go through (and still at times is going through ) many of these things with me, in my adoption into the kingdom of God.   Adoption actually comes down to are you willing?  Willing to stay the course and walk the road.  What are you really doing this for?  Can you give God the dreams you had pictured in your head about what this adoption was going to look like and turn out like?... AND embrace the reality of who the child is and the new family structure you now have whatever that maybe?  Even if you are, sometimes things were not meant to be and God has other plans.  His plans and ways are higher than ours and perfect.  I will be honest with you all.  We have had two disrupted adoptions.  They happened many years ago...Where circumstances beyond our control caused a disruption before adoption day could take place.  They were excruciatingly painful for all involved to live through and look back on even now.  I pray for anyone who has or is going through such a painful time.  God be with you.  
Often people say such wonderful and kind things about our family and Tim and I.  We are not special.  We are average people and can not do what we do with out God having His mighty hand on every detail and moment of our lives.  All the glory to God and is His.
I thank each and every one of you who thinks of and prays for our family, who take the time to write and encourage us with scriptures and notes, who have actively gotten involved in our family and children's lives.  We are profoundly grateful and may God bless each and everyone of you back 100 fold.  I so often feel the support of people praying for us when we are going through difficult times.  It is a wonderful blessing.
I have had a lot of people lately asking how the children are doing.  The health of some and behaviors of others.  Especially, a lot of people asking about our sweet Antonio.  I am going to, over the next few weeks,  do a few updates on some of the children and their lives to let you all know how each child is doing.  I can say one thing... they sure are all growing!  I don't know how I ever was chosen to be so blessed by the Lord, to be so surrounded by love every day of my life.  Time goes by so quickly and I am amazed daily by who God is shaping each child to be.  God is so good.

Ephesians 3:17-19  That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,  May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;  And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.