He Turned Six!!!

I know this sounds amazing but Billy just turned six!  It seems like just a short while ago that he and his brother came into our home as foster children.  He was the older of the siblings at 2 years old and his brother was one.

What a journey we have been on with these two.  He and his brother had some of the toughest behaviors we have dealt with.  The neglect and abuse they went through in their short lives, before coming here, was intense and had horrible repercussions that we still deal with and try to help them heal from today.  They were both exposed in the womb to drugs and had meth and pot smoked around them till they came into care.  We pray fervently over all our children, provide stability, give them love and meet their needs.  We give them structure, boundaries and at times discipline.  Ultimately, it takes a miracle from God and children wanting to make a change, for them to heal and more forward.  Looking back at what they were like when they came and seeing them now...wow...they are different children.  Amazing progress has been made but some issues still remain and are taking time, maturity and God, to help them heal and break away from.

Billy, very often has been one tough child to take care.

His behaviors have been intense and can be just as challenging as Elizabeth's at times.  He did not know how to play with toys when he came.  He would either use them as weapons, try to break them by pounding them, jumping on them, peeling stickers off them and wedging them in places trying to get them stuck. 

He was violent and tried to hurt other children and lashed out at adults.  He peed on everything.  I mean, if I put him in time out, he would take off his diaper and pee on all that could be reached all around.  If he was in bed...same thing.  Anytime our focus was off of him, he would either pee on something or spit on everything.  He would spit puddles on the floor where ever he was or spit on his hands and spread it everywhere to play with it. 

He did not know how to eat.  He had been on a bottle his whole life, so had real issues with food.  It took him and his brother many months of feeding therapy to learn to self feed, chew and eat all textures of food.  He pulled his hair out, poked his eyes, sucked on his skin to bring the blood to the surface making a bruise. 

He would pull strings out of his socks, clothing and chew holes in his cloths because he had been tied in a car seat his whole life and only had his body and the things he could reach to play with and mess with.

He still stretches out all his clothing by pulling on them all day long as a nervous habit.  Some of these behaviors are gone and some still remain and we are working on them.

Billy is extremely smart and does everything at full speed, not slowing down to think of the repercussions of his actions.  Some people would call him hyper. 

He's only still when sleeping or really focused on learning.  Even when he eats, watches a show or is riding in a vehicle he is not still, bless his heart. 

He is usually rocking, bouncing or changing positions by getting up on his knees and then back to his bottom many times every minute.

I share just some of his issues with you, to let you know the reality and seriousness, the struggles and challenges he has had to live through and with, in his short life.  We try not to focus on these issues in our children.  If we did, it would be very counterproductive.

We would feel over whelmed and frustrated all the time with a child.  Yes, I do get over whelmed and frustrated at times but it is short lived.  If I just step back and look at his past life, before living here and what he went through and the progress he has made, no matter how small or large in an area, it is so much easier to find joy and compassion.

So much easier to handle a behavior knowing that it is not him but a problem from his formative 2 years before coming here.

The Billy I love so dearly and cherish is kind hearted and tender deep inside.  He shows sweet acts of kindness.  If someone gets hurt he gets very upset and asks if they are ok now and tries to comfort someone if they are crying.  He prays the most beautiful heartfelt prayers.

I hear him asking God to help him with his behaviors that he struggles with.  I love to teach this child.  He loves to learn and never stops talking or asking questions...good educational questions... ALL DAY LONG...non-stop.   :) 

He is very bonded to me and everyone in our whole family.  He can now play with some of the other children if supervised.

He now has a good appetite, feeds himself and eats all his food in an appropriate amount of time.   He plays with toys properly for about 30 minutes before getting bored and starting to go back to his old habits. 

He cracks me up with his sense of humor, silliness and some of the things he tries to do.  Even though his behaviors are hard and we have some very hard days I love him dearly. 

I still have trouble thinking he has been with us two thirds of his lifetime and that he is now six years old.  He wanted a ninja turtle cake from his aunt.  He has never seen the show but has a few of the little action figures he plays with, from mega block sets he received.  Aunt "S" did an excellent job making a happy ninja turtle for him.  Thank you Aunt "S"!

My dear, sweet, bouncy, Billy.  You, my young man, are a diamond in the ruff and it is a privilege that God has trusted us to raise you and help you reach your fullest potential.  It has been an honor to watch the miracle of you unfold and see you conquer your issues, replacing them with positive ones.  God is so good and I know you are going to do great things and go so far in life, for the Lord!  May God always lead and guide you and may you always follow His lead.

Psalm 144:12

¹² That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:

Love Dad, mom, Stephen, Antonio, William, Carolyn, Zeke, Elizabeth, Timothy, Kinsley and Anna-Kate.