Friday, July 12, 2013

Facing Regression

(Antonio at the doctors office)
I am the type of person that wants to nurture things and people.  A person that doesn't like to sit still.  A person that likes to take action and figure out how to fix issues.  I like to work hard.  I think one of the hardest things I have had to except, is the things I can't fix or help, that my children struggle with.    I know that their very life is in Gods hands.  I know He created them and is the one really doing all the work.  He is the one giving me great ideas to do and is ultimately doing a work in each of them.  Healing them.  Helping them to progress and reach goals.  God is so good.  I am so grateful to be the tool used and have witnessed so many miracles first hand.

I don't know why some prayers get answered and some don't.  I don't know why some healings take place miraculously, some over time and some we are still praying for.  I am human and just keep praying and trusting in the Lord as we walk thru things in life.  He has always been faithful and never left us alone thru any of it. 
We met Antonio when he was five years old.  He moved into our home when he was 6.  At that point in time he weighed 24 pounds and barely ate and drank enough to keep his body going and growing.  He was weak and tired a lot.
(Antonio on a fishing trip, he loves to fish if it is not to hot)
As soon as we adopted him we had an in-g-tube placed and as soon as they could do the surgery, had a permanent G-tube placed.

He was my first child with a feeding tube and had a lot of tummy troubles with all the high calorie formulas they tried him on.  Everything from vomiting, bloating, stomach pain and refluxing to dumping.  I prayed and prayed for God to show us the right formula he could tolerate.  That is when God showed me to start blending the healthy food we ate and bolusing it into his G-tube.  Praise God all the tummy troubles stopped and he started to really look healthy and put on some much needed weight. He also started to grow!
As soon as I saw he was stable and growing, I started to work with him to build up his oral muscles and endurance to eat all his meals by mouth.  I don't know why it was so important to me.  I guess because eating is such a social thing, I wanted him to be able to enjoy all the experiences with us of trips to the pizza place, picnics and such.  Also, it is a deep down thing in this mama to feed her children and feed them well.  So we all worked hard, however long it took, to help Antonio learn to eat better and more.
(surf fishing on Jekyll Island)
We had many set backs.  He had 15 shunt failures back to back over the course of two years.  Two of those times resulting in serious brain fluid infections that robbed him of many of his skills.  We would always have to do a lot of therapy to get him even close to back to where he was and some skills he never got back.
One of those skills was drinking by mouth.  During one of those episodes he lost his ability to protect his airway when swallowing thin liquids.  So from the time he was almost eight he could not have any drinks anymore by mouth.  :(   He missed his juice.  His favorite.  Even if we thickened it, he had troubles. 
From the time he was 9 till the present, he has not had another shunt failure.  Praise be to God.  But in the last year and a half he is slowing begining to loose his ability to protect his airway when eating.  Sigh.
It is a hard thing to face.  We have worked so hard.  It has all been fine for so long.
He would just eat three meals a day with us, where ever we were and just get all his fluids thru his g-tube, via a feeding pump, thru the night time.

About a year and a half ago he started having a lot more lung issues.  Needing breathing treatments often and having more asthma related episodes.  I started to notice it was after he ate.  His voice sounded wet and gurgly after he ate and he does not have a productive cough.  He also started gagging a lot on his food when he went to swallow.

This is an area that has caused me alot of frustration and stress.  I can't help him or fix it.  He just can not tolerate eating a full meal by mouth anymore with out causing breathing issues.  I don't want to risk pneumonia.   I keep struggling with it.  I give it to God and just except it and pray and then take it back onto myself causing stress.  I am giving this whole thing back over to God now and leaving there.  I have worked hard, prayed, worried and pushed in this area for almost two years now.  I surrender it to God. I am out of ideas and don't know what to do.  The doctors say it is his body aging.  

Bless his heart.  I am grateful for the feeding tube.  I am going back to blending all his food and bolusing him three meals a day.  We are not going to worry about it or stress over it anymore.  He is still getting good nourishment and is happy.  Sweet, sweet happy young man.  What a blessing.  (Yes, praise God he is over the emotional sadness he was dealing with earlier this year)

I am letting  him eat something every day by mouth like a snack or treat he likes, just to keep him eating some by mouth a little to keep his muscles in shape and working but not forcing the issue.  He will actually ask for a few chips or cookies..  So I let him. Since it is something he asked for and just a few he is excited and works hard to eat with out gagging or troubles.
We will be going again to his GI doctor in August to see if they have any other ideas.  He had a swallow study done when this all started over a year and a half ago and I bet they will want to repeat that.  To me, it is just stressing him out to eat full meals and causing him gagging episodes and then lung and breathing issues.  I don't like to see him struggle or upset. He is such a happy young man to the core 99% of the time.  I am not going to push this issue.  If it is gone it is gone.  We will take it in stride and except and enjoy the wonderful blessing of Antonio.  God is truly so very good.  All the time. 

Romans 5:3-6  And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;  And patience, experience; and experience, hope:And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

May God be with you in every trial and joy.

Blessings,
susan

Monday, July 8, 2013

Grateful For Hot Water!

Have you ever thought about our modern conveniences and how wonderful they all are.  Heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer.  A refrigerator and freezer.  An oven and stove top.  Indoor plumbing!!!  Hot and cold running water at the tap when ever we should want a little or a lot.  God is so good.  It really does make life so much easier and simpler.  We are so used to it we just take it for granted sometimes.  Well, most of the time. 
We have in the past lost power for varying lengths of time.  Storms roll in or an ice storm downs power lines causing us to loose power from a few hours to a few days.  Daily we take for granted the running water flowing into our home.  The ability to flip a light switch to see in the dark, plug in an appliance or make a simple meal.  When the power is off we still out of habit flip that light switch.  Or for us turn on a faucet.  Our well pump is an electric one.  So no power = no water.  No worries about us flushing toilets.  We have a bucket and a pool...there is 2000 flushes there!  :)

A little over three weeks ago our tankless water heater went on the fritz.  It is the only way for us to have warm or hot water.  Praise God it didn't happen this winter or the water coming in from the well would have been hard to tolerate even for hand washing, it comes into the house so cold.

The tankless water heater was kicking in every 1 1/2 minutes or so warming the water to just about luke warm and then you got 3 minutes of freezing cold.  We had to time our showering.  Jump in, wait for the few moments of luke warm.  Wet  up and soap up while standing out of the stream of freezing cold water.  Wait for the luke warm and rinse as quickly as you can.  Not fun.  Still grateful I didn't have to go and draw the water from a well, bucket by bucket.  So grateful for the running water.  Just missed the warm water part more than you know.

My wonderful husband researched for hours on line.  Trying this and that.  FOR THREE WEEKS!  I have been a patient wife.  I know we can not afford a new one right now or even a plumber to put it in.  So I waited for Tim to exhaust all the options.

Well, today was the day.  I finally heard the words.....Can't fix it.  Don't know what to do to get it going again.  So we need to break down and just put one on credit and get it going again.  Although we hate to put anything on credit I am so grateful it is available and we have that option.  And our very kind plumber said he would wait on payment till we got paid.  Thank you Lord!

As of now. Praise be to God.  We have cold, warm and HOT! running water again.  YIPEE!!  I am so grateful for the modern conveniences that we are blessed with.  Just so very grateful.  I once again am reminded to be grateful for all the conveniences we have.  No matter how small. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

May we all be grateful for the simple things in life!   God is so good.  Always!

Blessings,
susan

Friday, July 5, 2013

Happy 17th Birthday William!!!

Happy Birthday my wonderful son!  Where did the time go???  I remember being in labor for you 17 years ago, for over a week!  Wondering if you would be born the end of June.....then on the 1st of July.....waking up and wondering if you would be born on the 2nd....then the 3rd and 4th.  FINALLY, you arrived on the 5th of July!
Oh the wonderful sweetness.  You were calm and easy going from the very beginning.
Always a ready smile.
A sweet and happy toddler.
I have only had to discipline you a handful of times in your whole life.  Such an obedient and loving boy.
Always a smile and hug for everyone.  Like joy and pure sunshine, sharing Gods love where ever you went!
So forgiving towards others and the best loving brother a sibling could have.
Above picture Stephen and William
Above picture Carolyn, Antonio, and William
 Above picture Carolyn and William
Above and below picture William and Elizabeth!

Above picture Antonio and William

 You always loved working hard and being outside.
Always joking around and striking silly poses. 
One of the most gentle kind souls I have ever had the honor of knowing.  So genuine, and God has blessed me to be able to call you son.
As you grew all you wanted in life was to please God, your dad and I.  If I called your name to come help me or if I needed you, your response was always..." coming as soon as I can."  And you were there.
As you grew older and stronger you stepped up to work along side me full of joy and energy.  Saying don't lift that bag of grain or bale of hay.  Let me get that for you.
When Stephen grew up and moved out, you stepped up to become my right hand man and matured so much.  You became not only my son but treasured friend.
You work hard, are patient and save your money for the the big things you want in life.
You are so very responsible.  I can always trust you to do what I ask and what you say you will do.  (William and his dog Will)
Your amazing, godly, upright, and honorable good character is just like your dad who you always tried so hard to be like.

Birthday cake made by his loving Aunt.

Always know William, how much we value, love and cherish you.  We are so pleased with you and how hard you work and try to do things that come easily for others.  We love you so much!  Happy Birthday!

Numbers 6:24-26  The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:  The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:  The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

Love,

Dad and mom










Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th of July!!!

Happy 4th of July!  From the Nichols family!

I pray everyone had a wonderfully blessed day. 

I got a call on Tuesday from my childhood best friend.  She lived two doors down from me when we were growing up.  We did everything together.

She said she was passing thru our area and did we want a visit.  So she stopped in on Wednesday and spend the night and had 4th of July with us.  

We also spent time together as a family.  Stephen came down for the day and we grilled out.  It rained the whole day and all the fireworks in our area was canceled.  But we still celebrated and enjoyed the fellowship and food.  The kids even swam in the rain!

It was such a wonderful time of making happy family memories and enjoying the company of a friend.  God is so good.  His hand is in all things good.

1 Corinthians 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

May God be with you in all you do,

susan

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Antonio's Days and Life

A lot of people have wondered what Antonio does all day long.  Over the years we have had to brain storm a lot to find things he can do to keep himself entertained, get an education, have things he can do for himself, to make him feel like he can make choices and have some control over what he wants to do. 

Antonio was born as a 23 week preemie and one of the things that happened at that time was a lack of oxygen and also several brain bleeds.  He has hydrocephalus and a shunt in his head to drain off the extra brain fluid.  It empties into his stomach and is called a VP shunt. (if it emptied into his heart it would be called a VA shunt, he has had that before too) He has many, many diagnosis and health issues but his main diagnosis is spastic cerebral palsy.  He tone is so very tight he can not easily bend his legs or move his body much.  He uses his high tone to speak and has very little breath control.  He speaks a few words in huge bursts from tightening his whole body up to push out the air required for him to speak.  He has trouble opening and closing his hands and moving his arms purposefully and fluidly.  He has the intellect of about a four or five year old child.

Even though he has lived his whole life this way, he is one of the most happy people I have ever met.  One of the most compassionate loving young men I have ever known.  I am so happy and blessed to say he is my son.   
With all of his physical challenges he can not do anything much for himself.  When he was young I did all his total care myself.  My husband would maybe help me on the weekends and evenings some.  But as Antonio grew and got so heavy and a challenge to move his very stiff and twisted body, one person or even two people could not lift or move him while keeping him safe and comfortable and us protecting our backs from harm. 

His insurance would only pay for one type of lift.  We were happy and grateful to get it.  But once we got it, we could see it might have been the only lift that they would pay for but it did not work for his type of body.  The lift that they provided was called a Hoyer lift.  Even with all the different sling systems, it could not transfer him in a seated position or get him from laying down or even sitting on his toileting system, to the wheel chair.  The Hoyer was for a person that could “hold” a seated position while being transferred.  It was a difficult lift to use.  I had to struggle to get the body sling under him lifting and tugging to get it just right.   Antonio would straighten out stiff as a board and it is very hard to get him bent back into a seated position again.  It just kind of cradled him laying out flat.  There was no way for one person to get his laying down, cradled body, so his bottom would line up over his wheel chair so he could be lowed down to sit on it.  So with the Hoyer we still had to do the majority of lifting, bending him and trying to lift him into his chair even with the lift.  We looked and looked and found a lift called a Solo Lift.  It was almost $5000 dollars.  No insurance would pay for it and we could not afford it.  We (Tim, myself and William) all had hurt our backs, over time, by then trying to care for him all together.  We were desperate as we could see we would not be able to care for Antonio ourselves much longer the way things were.   We would try to save up for the Solo Lift and something would always come up like a major appliance breaking or the kids needing something major.  We could find no grants or funding.  We prayed and prayed about it for several years.  We didn't mention it much to anyone. 

One day the Lord put it on some friends of ours hearts to use their tithe money to purchase it for Antonio!  We were so very grateful!  God is so good. It made the difference of us being able to continue to care for him our selves at home.  Now we can lift and move him with little effort on our part.  The lift does do all the work.  Instead of a sling that cradles, it has a vest that goes around his ribs under his arms.  I can easily put this on him in his wheel chair or set him up in bed and put it on him.  It can move him in a seated position easily and comfortably or bring him to a stand.  Praise God!  It hooks from the back like a cat carries her kittens. 

We would not be able to care for Antonio our selves at home with out all his equipment.  We use a toileting/bath system, his wheel chair, our handicap van, his Solo Lift, his hospital bed, a feeding pump that gives him his fluids at night as he can not drink.  He aspirates on fluids so has to get all his fluids though his g-tube at night on a drip feed.  It kinda looks like an IV pump.

His insurance will no longer provide speech and occupational therapy as they can not show he is improving from getting this therapy.  :(  They will pay for two sessions of Physical Therapy a month.  During PT his therapist stretchs him out good and works on a few things.  That is not enough to really help him.  So we pay out of pocket for him to have a Pediatric Massage therapist come out to the house once a week to get his muscles stretched and his whole body gone over really well, for an hour at a time.  It has made a difference in his joint comfort.

Antonio is very much like taking care of an older person really.  As he has gotten older his feet and legs have poor circulation.  We have to watch for skin break down and when he does get a place of break down we usually have to go to “Wound Clinic” to get treatment to get it to heal.  He wears special rubbery like leg protectors to protect his feet and legs from any scrapes or bumps and break down.   He gets inhaler or breathing treatments though out the day as he has trouble breathing without them.  He has immature lungs, asthma and reactive airway.

He has to be fed as he cannot feed himself.  He is incontinent and wears a  diaper.  But praise be to God, can get his BM in the potty every morning.  Glory to God!  That is a huge help. 

He had such severe reflux as a baby/toddler that when they put in his g-tube they also did a flundaplication (sp?)  They wrap his stomach around his esophagus so he will no longer allow refluxing.  But that also means he can not vomit easily or burp unless there is a tremendous amount of pressure.   With his un-coordination he can’t help that sometimes he swallows air and since he has the flundo it will build up and he will get very uncomfortable.  So often times in the night we will hear him retching and quickly have to get up and disconnect his g-tube from his drip feed and vent out the air before he vomits.  We have to do this occasionally in the day too.

Antonio is a whole lot of work.  We all work together to take care of him.  But if you ask anyone in our home.  He is such a huge blessing in our lives and we would do anything for that young man.  Anything to brighten his day.  Anything to bless him.  He appreciates so much, anything we do for him.  Always says thank you.  He is a prayer warrior and prays for people constantly.  It brings me to tears often when I hear him praying.  But especially when I hear him petitioning God and I hear it is on my own behalf.   For my strength, for my health and for my happiness.   Now, that is humbling.  I would and will do anything I can for that boy.  I love him dearly.

He asks for very little in life.  But when he does I try to make it happen for him.  He has his own “office” area in our home, tailored just to him. 
When he was 8 he wanted turtles.  So I did a lot of research and found some water turtles that never grow very large and got them for him.  He has had them for 10 years.  He still has two of the original fish we got at that time too!  They are to the left of his office table. 
He loves to watch them.  They are always doing something interesting.   He also, one year, asked for a hamster.  So I did some research and found some Robo hamsters that are very hyper and go all the time. 
Those are on his desk as well.  He likes watching them.  He also has a parakeet named Larry Boy. 
He is always giving me updates as to what his bird is doing throughout the day.  We can get his bird out and put it on Antonio's arm and it just stays there on him.  He loves that.  
He also saw that I had a play top (playground) I had made on the top of our parrots cage, so he wanted to do that for his Parakeet as well.  So he saved his money and everytime we went to the pet shop he bought a few things and we made a nice play top, on top of his bird cage for Larry boy.  Yes, that is a hamster wheel zip tied on top and yes the bird does get in it and run.  So funny!

On his desk is also a TV and DVD player he bought with his own money.  A V-smile children's educational video game system.  He loves to play this and has about every toddler game they make for it. 
He has wore out several units of this systems and they don’t make this anymore.  Every time it dies we have to go on ebay and try to find a used one someone is selling.  The joystick has a huge nob on the end so he can easily do his games with little hand control.

He has a CD player with the buttons on the front.  
He can actually turn it on and off using his knuckle on the buttons or find a certain song.  The clock behind the CD player my sister bought for him.  Antonio LOVES hand bell music.  And this clock sounds just like hand bells and plays many songs.  He loves it.  We have a local hand bell choir that does concerts we take him to when they have one. He also loves Hymns and The Annie Moses band.  So he has CD's of those when he wants to listen to music.  He also has a collection of DVD’s he likes to watch in his DVD player.  Mostly Franklin, Thomas the tank engine and Bob the Builder.  We don’t have piped in TV.  Haven't for years.  But did just get Netflixs for Antonio, just for the very young toddler kinds of shows for him.  He loves it.  Curious George and Back Yardigins are his favorites. 

Antonio has very few ways he can spend his money, as he can't play with toys and such easily.  So it accumulates from birthdays and holidays from our family when they give it to him.  So he saves his money up for big things he wants.  Like his TV or his Ipad he wanted.  The Ipad he saved some money up for and my dad put some money with it so he could afford it.  He loves it.  We bought a cover for it made by Fisher Price that keeps it protected and easier to grip.
 

So, now that you know a little bit about him, his days go something like this. If we are not going anywhere that day.  :)

He gets up at 7:00 a.m. and using his lift we put him on the potty to go BM if he can.  I give him a breathing treatment while he is there.  If he doesn’t go in 30 minutes we push his potty chair into the shower and using an exfoliation glove scrub him down well to get his circulation going for the day.  We dry him off and using the Solo Lift move him to his bed to diaper and dress him.  Then back into the Solo Lift to stand on his feet for a few minutes.  
He loves standing on his feet for a few moments every day.  He says he is dancing!  Then into his wheel chair for the day.



He is then wheeled out to eat breakfast with the rest of the children. We all take turns feeding Antonio as it takes him an hour or more to eat his meals.  After breakfast he gets to choose what he wants to do.  He tells us all day long to change a DVD or CD.  To change out a video game.  To push him over by the turtle tank and lay him back in his wheel chair as he needs to lay back to rest.  OR to put him over to the Netflix area to watch a movie.  Sometimes he wants to participate in the other kids school work.  If they are reading out loud he wants to listen and be read to.  Or if coloring or working on something he wants to watch or help.  Sometimes if I am baking bread or working in the kitchen he wants to watch me in there and talk a while.  He is busy and included all day long.  He is a happy boy.

He eats lunch with all of us but by supper time he is really tired and having trouble staying awake.  If he wants to eat supper we let him.  But he usually gags though the whole meal.  As his muscles by this time are tired and he has trouble chewing and swallowing.  So we blend up his supper in a Kitchen Aid power blender and put it though his G-tube.  Even if we tube feed him his supper he still stays out in the kitchen with us while we eat, participating in conversation and just being his silly self.

He wants to get into bed by at least 7 p.m. sometimes he starts asking earlier but we try to distract him and get him to make it to 7.  Once in bed he gets another breathing treatment and hook him up to his night fluids.  He likes to listen to the Bible on CD at night.  He also has baby lullaby tunes attached to his handicap bed rail he can hit the button with his elbow and start the music when he wants to hear it.  Also he sleeps with a turtle that puts stars on the ceiling at night.  He can push the button himself if we set it on his tummy and it will stay on for 45 minutes at a time.  
If I get up in the night because I hear him talking.  He is usually has the stars on and is praying under them.  He is such a sweet soul.

So that is what Antonio does all day long in a nut shell.  We often have to go places though.  About once a week.  So on those days he is out and about with us going to doctors appointments, therapy appointments, home school bowling (his favorite!)
Also we go to any enriching plays, puppet shows, library events or other things I can find to make the children’s education more fun and meaningful.

God has truly blessed us with each and every one of our children.  God is so good!

Psalm 139:13-14

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.  I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

May the Lord God of Israel be with you as you live and grow in Him.
blessings,

susan