Friday, August 23, 2013

One Hard Day

When I started this blog I had many reasons why I decided to go ahead and share our lives with others in this way.  One big one was to give glory to God.  Another was to keep friends and family updated.  Also to bring awareness to others as to how wonderful children with special needs are, to plant seeds of adoption in the hearts of those that God might call to this.  A small part as an outlet for my need to write.  There are many more reasons but those are a few.

I always strive to keep it real.  To share the whole truth.  To share the good, joyous,  miraculous, challenges, hard and bad.  To show we are human, we fail, we struggle.  But that thru it all God is so faithful and carries us.

Yesterday, I have to say was one hard day.  I have shared a little about my health with some people.  But don't think I have done a blog post going into any great detail of it all.   I have several autoimmune diseases.  My quality of life a few years ago was very poor and hard.  Many thought I was dying.  I did as well.   I saw all kinds of specialists, as many systems of my body was effected.  Most of my symptoms pointed to MS.  But that was ruled out.  Finally, I was told it was auto immune and my body was attacking itself.  Doctors wanted to put me on immune suppressants, cortisone and pain relievers.  I read about the long term effects of taking these and always try to do things healthy.  I also didn’t want a band aid on my symptoms I prayed for healing and answers.  I wanted to be well and here to take care of my husband and family God blessed us with.

I was exhausted all the time.  To the point of sleeping over 12 hours a night and still not being able to do any work once I woke up.  I had a really hard time thinking some days.  My body was going thru metabolic wasting.  My muscles deteriorating.  I could not do my house work.  I had trouble co-ordinating my body.  Walking was clumsy.  I was telling my legs and arms to work but the action was very delayed.  I could not climb stairs or drive.  I could not open a car door.  I had trouble texting and typing.  If I spent time out in the cold weather my legs just refused to work at all.  This went on for about two years.  I was just wasting away and getting weaker.  Oh how I prayed. 

God showed me that much of this was going on around food.  He started reveling to me patterns in my eating.  That when I ate a certain meal the next day my symptoms were much worse.  And when I ate a certain way my symptoms were better.  I was already eating pretty restrictive because of God helping me with my battle with food, all those years ago.  But now thru prayer and really listening HE really showed me what I needed to do to help me in my health crisis.  Praise God.  I slowly began to improve.  I now have about 20 foods I can eat without a reaction.  Plain, no spices, no salt.  20 foods.  I am grateful for every one of them. 

To keep this short, I will say that God did a true miracle and brought me from the brink of deterioration and feeling absolutely miserable every day, back to health.  That God brought me from not being able to care for my family to now having a good quality of life once again.  I am grateful for every day.

As long as I get enough sleep, keep my stress levels down and eat no foods that I am allergic to. (basically take care of myself)  I can walk smoothly, talk and have energy and strength.   If I mess with any of those things my body starts to attack the cerebellum of my brain and here we go again.  Not fun. 

I have been for the most part symptom free for a year now.   I have had a few smallish episodes a month here or there but nothing horrible like in the past.  Each  time I would quickly find the culprit and change.  Till yesterday.

I had a huge day on my schedule yesterday.  Normal taking care of my children, normal milking and barn chores. We also had a long awaited trip to see Antonio’s GI specialist to talk about his stomach issues and him losing his ability to eat by mouth.  The drive was an hour away  to see this specialist.

I had gotten up in the night once and noticed that my legs were not reacting as fast as my mind was telling them for walking.  But just thought I got up to fast and didn’t sit for a few moments like I normally do.  So I went back to bed and quickly fell asleep again.  

I get up an hour or so before the kids to read Gods Word in the quiet of the morning and to work on computer things.   When I woke up for the morning and started my day.  I had trouble reading Gods Word.  I had trouble typing and trying to answer notes people had sent me.  When I got up to walk I could not walk very well at all.  I had terrible vertigo and the world was spinning every time I moved.  I had not had a reaction this bad in about a year and forgot how bad they were.  It does not feel good to have very little control over your body and trouble thinking.  You feel like you are dying as even your heart beats weird.   A thousand terrible thoughts went thru my mind.   

I thought about my busy day ahead and that added a nice panic attack on top of it all and I started having trouble breathing.  I had William call 911.  Yes, I did.  As William called 911 I started to pray and God reminded me I didn’t die when I used to live like this every day before.  That He was right there with me.  That I just had to make it a few days till what ever I was reacting to would wash out of  my system...I talked to the 911 operator and told her I was breathing better and thought I would be ok.  I would call my husband and he would come home and take care of me.  She was very kind and said call back if I changed my mind and they would be glad to come out. 

Tim did come home.  I felt embarrassed to have to call him.  But he is so kind to me and his work place so understanding.  He was able to work it out to come home.  He helped me get everything in the morning done and took us to Antonio’s appointment.  He helped me walk around with out falling.  He brought a lot of our good well water with us for me to drink as that helps me get better faster.  To flush out the offending food/chemical.  He drove us everywhere we needed to go.  Little by little by the end of the day I was much less dizzy and able to get around much better with out help.  I could talk with out constantly stopping to try to find the words.  Praise God.  We sat down and narrowed it back to a few things I ate different.  A different brand of DE.  Non organic carrots and a bag of organic  non salted sweet potato chips.  I will not be eating any of those things again.  I guarantee it.  :) 

When I got up this morning I felt so much better.  I can type, think straight  and walk.  Just a little more tired than normal and am taking it slower as my balance is still a little off.  God is so good.  Going thru all I went thru yesterday,  just reminds me of how I lived my life day after day for almost 2 years.  How hard and discouraging it was and that God… Our amazing, wonderful, faithful God… brought me back to health.  How it brought me into even a closer relationship with Him.  How precious and life giving His Word was daily to me.  I clung to it.  It was my only hope as the doctors offered nothing.  They had no answers.   I appreciate every day so much and am grateful that He shared with me how to bring my body back to having a much higher quality of life. 

Praise God!  Praise God!  Praise God!

I just wanted to share this today.  To show the reality of our life and to give God the glory for all He has done.  To encourage you in your life.  To seek and trust till you find and receive the answers from God.  Be patient, He is faithful. 

Hebrews 13:5-6  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.  So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

A big thank you to all the people who pray for us daily.  We appreciate it more than words can say.  We always need it.  I will share what we learned and were told about Antonio’s GI appointment coming up next….



  1. Wow! You really have struggles in all aspects of your life. I went back and read your struggle with food blog. I would never have guessed it to look at pictures of you now. You are truly gorgeous inside and out and Tim's nickname for you is absolutely spot on! Hugs and prayers.

  2. Thank you so much Julie. You are always so kind to me. I appreciate it all so much. God is so good to me. I don't deserve all He has done for me but am eternally grateful. You are a sweet friend. May God bless you for it!

  3. what an incredible journey! I am so grateful for your openness with us about your experiences. I love the HUGE HUGE HUGE message in the middle of it all that speaks "Listen". I am realizing that my only way of thinking was in worldly wisdom and what the world says is healthy.....boy oh boy am I having to wash my brain out with biblical soap. I am realizing more and more each day that Gods wisdom/ His word is the only thing that truly leads to life. Thank you Susan

  4. I would prefer for people not to know when I struggle. At least that is how I feel deep down inside. Some how it is embarrassing for me. But God has always been with me thru out my life, Thru all the good and bad I have went thru. He has also miraculously helped me thru some very hard things. And no matter how hard it is to share, making me feel exposed...I am going to share when God asks me to. Because it brings glory to Him and prayerfully will encourage and help others. I am so happy we have met. You often encourage me when I need it most. Gods blessings be upon you.