18 Years!

I can not even begin to explain or rather… there are no words to paint the picture and do it justice…the relationship that Tim and I have.  It is a blessing beyond blessings.   The full life we have had together in those 18 years.  The love that grows deeper and stronger every day. 

We met while I was attending his dads church.  We became very good friends.  I was divorced with a young son.  

As we got to know each other, he went out of his way to not only be my friend but Stephens friend as well.  He was so tender and kind to my son, who was hurting from a terrible divorce.  It deeply touched my heart.  Tim’s naturally kind and gentle ways. His tender heart.  The way he wants to be helpful to all who he knows.  Tim really does live the Word of God in all he does.  What you see is what you get with him.  He is the kindest and best of men. 

After two years of friendship our relationship became romantic.  We courted.

We got married.

He didn’t know what he was in for!!! I was head strong and independent.  He was patient, gentle and kind.  Over time I softened to his gentle leadership and followed his lead, as he is biblically the head of our household. 

He accepted and embraced Stephen as his son.  We got pregnant with William on or soon after our honeymoon.  So Tim went from having no children to two sons in less than a year.

Tim took it all in stride and was patient, gentle and kind.  He dotes on me and I on him.  We make a good team.  We are one. 

Going into our second year of marriage we started foster care and adopting children.  Tim loved them all, like his own.  He never showed favoritism.  He was always so patient, gentle and kind. 

We almost lost Tim in 1999.  It is a miracle story that I wrote about in my book I hope to publish soon.  I know the below picture is not a very good picture but I took very few pictures around the time Tim was sick.  I was just trying to hold things together.  He does not tan.  He is very fair complected.  His orange color there is from jaundice.  He became skeletally thin by the time they put him on life support. 

His health declined till he was on life support.  I was told there was no hope and to make arrangements for his passing.  God, did an absolute miracle in the midnight hour and glory to God, Tim is here today!  Going thru that drew us even closer.  For better or worse, in sickness and in health…

Because of the huge amount of doctor bills and trying to survive thru that long drawn out health crisis, we sold almost all we had trying to pay them all and stay afloat.  We ended up loosing our home and having a vehicle repossessed. (For richer or poorer... We still are making a payment from that time in our life.)  That is how we ended up on my dads farm.  My mom and dad were very supportive thru that hard time.  God is so good.  He has always taken care of us.   

In February of 1998 we took in a very special needs baby.  An eight month old baby that had been starved and neglected.  She was 8 pounds when we got her after the hospital stay to stabilize her and bring her weight up some.  So she was much smaller when taken into care.  I have shared pictures of when she first came into care with very few people.  As they are just heart wrenching.  She had many genetic double ups and was mentally profound.  She never learned to talk, chew, stand or crawl.  She self abused all her waking hours.

She was a high maintenance little one.  But oh so beautiful and such a blessing.  She was truly so needy of care and love.  When DFCS terminated rights we adopted her. 

She was the child that God used to open our eyes and hearts to taking in all the other children with special needs we have ever taken.  God used her to call us to adopt, any and all, the children with special needs He would ask us to.

She was precious to us all.

In 2001, just 4 months shy of her 4th birthday, we lost our daughter Faith Anne.  Those were very dark and hard days for us both.  God was our rock and we clung to each other to get thru every moment.  The pain indescribable. Tim was fully there for us all every day and continued to get up and go to work daily, when I could not even make myself get out of bed.  There are no words.

As the years went by we went thru many hard, long, drawn out cases with DFCS.  We lost count after having fostered 41 children that came thru our home.   Many children that came from hard places and needed us to be strong for them, by the grace of God.  Many children that had life threatening situations and surgeries.  Tim was always a hardworking, participating, helpful husband, dad and foster dad to them all every day.  God was our rock we stood upon thru it all. 

Tim always was the same wonderful, godly man.  I have never heard him raise his voice at one of the children or at me.  He is patient beyond patient. 

Life marched on and Stephen grew up and moved out on his own.  :(  Tim was so gentle and loving to me thru that time.  Knowing me so well and just very tender to this mama's heart.

We went thru having a "trouble teen" nephew come to live with us for three years. We saw God do a miracle in that young man right before our eyes, as Tim and I just offered Gods love, bible teaching, support, a home, guidance and acceptance. All the glory to God!

Tim has held me and comforted me through ridicule and loss of family and friends from doing what God has called us to do.  He loved me unconditionally when I have acted unlovable.  He treated me exactly the same no matter if I weighted 130 or 350 pounds.  He never said a word about it.  We have prayed hard and cried hard together when the children have went thru hard things and have suffered.  We have laughed hard and enjoyed together, the joys and blessings God has given us daily in raising our children.
  

We have been thru many health crisis for both him and myself.  Tim has laid hands on me and prayed for me more times than I can count.  He has taken care of me when I could not take care of myself and I him.  He has wiped my tears and held me tight when I needed comfort.  As I sleep in the wee morning hours, I never remember him missing a day of kissing me good bye when leaving for work and saying "I love you" in my ear... or kissing me first thing when he comes in the door after a long day.  He texts me several times a day telling me he loves me and checking to see how I am.  He calls nightly on his way home from work asking if I need anything from town.  He works very hard to support his large family and God provides. 

I go out of my way to make sure dinner is on the table and the house is in order when he gets home from work.  I make sure there is nothing that he has to do around our home at all.  Just go to work, come home, eat and enjoy the kids.  The kids and I do all the farming, house work, home schooling, gardening, yard work...all of it.  The "fix it" "honey do list" is mine.  Tim gets up at 2:30 a.m. every morning and goes in to work and doesn't usually get home till 3:30 or 4:00 p.m.  He is in bed between 7-8 p.m.  He works long hours and I am grateful for the privileged to stay home.  So in appreciation I try to make life as easy on him as possible.

In turn, he looks for ways to help me around the house.  He helps put Antonio to bed at night.  Which is a lot of work.  Any babies or foster children we have had he also participated in bedtime.  When I am having a hard time in my health, energy or have had a very busy week of appointments...if he sees something I am behind on...he just steps in and does it.  On days I am gone all day with appointments he often offers to do dinner for me or bring something home.  I love him dearly for all this. 

These 18 years have been so full and have taught us so much.  But the biggest thing that we have learned is that God is who HE says He is.  That He is always faithful.  His Word is true.  That even through the hardest of times.  The times that we felt like we would not live thru it, He did as He said He would and used it all for good.  Praise be to God!  

Glory to God, Tim and I have the precious life the bible speaks of.  

Have we had ruff patches in our marriage?  Of course.  Do I ever get upset with him?  We are human.  Yes.  Do we have to work at it?  Yes, we sure do.  But we have learned to never neglect each other no matter how busy or hard things get.  We always spend quality time together at least a few days a week.  Even if it is just a date night in bed with a movie and treat to eat. 

God is so good to me.  Beyond what I could ever ask. Beyond what I could ever deserve.  Thank you God for Tim in my life.  For these 18 years of marriage.  

May I be as much of a blessing to him as he is to me.

Genesis 2:22-24  And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Happy Anniversary Tim!  You are, aside from God, my deepest love, my best friend, a wonderful provider, the best husband, most wonderful dad...one of my greatest blessings. Love you always and forever!

Your loving wife, 
susan