Whoever wrote those words must have been very wise. They must have lived a long time and tasted the seasons of life deeply. They knew...When you are young and getting married, you often go into marriage feeling so in love, that you feel nothing will ever rock your world. You feel that together, you can overcome anything life brings along. You feel so in love with the person you marry, that you feel you could never be upset with them or that your love will carry you through anything...It was not long for us, like most marriages and those vows were tested and tried.
Tim and I have went thru life together, over the last 19 years, with great joy and happiness but we have had more than our share, of very sad and hard times through the years. With each terrible thing we went through, God was there and joyous times did return. We came thru those times with new found wisdom about what really matters in life and lessons learned.
Within the first few years Tim almost died. I cared for him in every way as he became unable to do the simplest of care for himself. No one should have to see their spouse on life support...God spared Tim's life and going thru that time only made me love and cherish him so much more. I have never taken him for granted again. Ever.
The cost of those years, caused us to lose everything monetary, even our home. The years of working our way out of medical debt and rebuilding our life has only taught us how blessed we are to have every day together and the people in our lives. Things mean nothing when stacked against the value of life.
Shortly after that season we buried a daughter together. I can not even write about the pain of going through that time. The pain of not only loosing Faith Anne, but the pain of seeing your spouse and children grieve and not being able to give any relief...We held each other thru some of the most painful days and nights imaginable. God was there and our love for each other only became stronger, as we have went through that on going season of life together.
I went thru a few years of declining health, that left me unable to care for myself or drive. Tim cared for my needs and carried the work load of our whole family, as God did a work in my body and brought me back to health. It only made me admire and love Tim more deeply. To see how devoted he is to us and how hard he works for us. Tirelessly, giving of himself for us daily.
I remember refusing say the word "obey" in my marriage vows. I never wanted to HAVE to obey anyone. (blushes) Walking the road of marriage, we have together, has grown in me, a love that says wholeheartedly... I will follow God and obey Tim gladly, in anything he asks of me. He has proved to be a true man of God. I can trust that when he asks or tells me to do something, he prays and is following God. I love him so much that I will do what he asks, to help him or please him, because he does the same for me.
We have prayed over each other and for each other. We have joined in prayer over our children as they have gone thru dangerous surgeries. We have stood as a front before terrible comments made about us and our family, by extended family, strangers and friends. We have endured loss of friends and family over doing what God has called us to do...From us embracing and adopting children of other ethnic backgrounds, to adopting a child that was born to an HIV positive mother. Painful, painful times, when Tim and I felt we had no one but each other, encouraging each other and loving each other, when no one, not even extended family or the body of Christ seemed to.
The wedding vows. Words we don't think about much once we have said them, unless we go to a wedding but they are a promise made before God. Not just words but a covenant to remember and live by when going thru hard times in a marriage. Times when you feel like giving up. When you feel like you can not go forward or move on. Knowing you have God and your spouse, by your side, who promised to be there, through thick and thin, is a comfort. You are one.
Building a lifetime together is at times hard, messy, sad and you may walk through the unimaginable...but...staying together and going thru those times together is a beautiful thing. The layers of pain soothed by love. The layers of hard work rewarded by reaching goals set together. The faith in God, memories, joy, special traditions. All of it, is the brick and mortar, of years and experiences, that build a strong marriage.
In our marriage there has also been plenty of times of joy and happiness. Joy is easy to walk thru together and we have had an over abundance of those days as well. Going thru the hard just makes the times of joy even more precious, enjoyed and relished.
Tim's and my marriage. Being "one" forever and living thru this thing called life, has only made our faith in God unshakable, our marriage commitment even stronger, our love for each other even deeper.
I humbly and thankfully praise God now and always, that He brought Tim and I together. I would choose to marry no other. He is my best friend and I say today the same vows we said 19 years ago...but this time knowing the full implications and meaning of every word... I love you Tim Nichols and promise to have and to hold you, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part. Forever. Putting God first at the head of our home.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Your loving wife,
susan
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