Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mothers Day!!

I remember when I was a child loving babies and always wanting to be a mom when I grew up.  I was a lot like my daughter, Carolyn.  I remember following my mom around trying to help her in all she did.  I helped her cook, work in the flower beds, clean and tend to my younger siblings.  I remember her telling me I went thru a time of fear of “growing up” when I was about five, knowing I would have to go to school soon and be away from my mom.  Finally, after months of this anxiety going on, she said to me, that if I never grew up I would never be able to get married, have children and be a mom.  She told me that did it.  I was more than ready to get on with life and move forward.

I also remember totally frustrating my high school councilor who was supposed to help me plan all my class choices for the next four years when I was a freshman and every year I saw her after that.  As she was supposed to help me pick classes that would prepare me for college and the career choice that I was supposed have.  All I could tell her was that I wanted to graduate,  get married some day and be a wife and mother.  She didn’t like that answer.  :)

When I was 19, my prayers were answered and my first child was born.  My son, Stephen made me a mother.    I was young and learned so much as I raised him thru the years.  Each of my children have taught me a lot.  In a way God used them to make me who I am today.

If patience comes from trials as the Word of God says then I should be the most patient person in the world by now!  :)  As the road has not always been easy. 

But truly while raising Stephen, he taught me to grow up and be responsible.  As soon as he was born I realized that I was responsible for him and his upbringing.  As soon as he was in my arms I realized it and I took it very seriously.  He showed me the innocence of a child and the wonder at learning all things new.  To ask questions, to be bold.  He was amazing smart and we kind of grew up together.  He was an active handful of a kid but also so much fun.  He had me all to himself till he was 9 years old.  Wonderful years I would not trade for anything in the world.
Antonio taught me how to be grateful in all situations because no matter what he is going thru, he is.  He thanks me for everything from changing his sheets to making a meal.  He compliments me all day long on how nice I look, even when I am in my sweats and have not brushed my hair.  He sees us all as beautiful at all times.  He has never once complained about the condition his body is in, even when going thru painful times and surgeries.  He showed me how to selflessly, fervently, pray without ceasing for others around us.  Because I hear him do this at times, day and night.  When I over hear him praying and realize his fervency is on my behalf, I am brought to tears in his tenderness, faithfulness and seasoned simple walk with the Lord.
William taught me that you don’t need words to deeply know and love someone.  As he never talked, so we could understand him, till he was 6.  He showed me that a child can have a natural gentleness, joy, love for others….the" fruit of the spirit" and obedience and love for the Lord, from the time they were born.  I have only ever had to discipline him a handful of times in his whole life.  He has honored the Lord his dad and I since he was a small child.  The only other person I have ever met that has been even close to his personality is his dad, Tim.  They are like cookie cutters of each other.   They are both a constant reminder to me to always walk in the fruit of the spirit daily, where ever we are and who ever we are around.  They are the real deal.
Faith Anne taught me that all people are fearfully and wonderfully made and have wonderful potential and value no matter what.  She taught me how to pray fervently and daily.  To stay in prayer, as I had to, in order to care for her.  She also taught me that life is more than fragile.  To enjoy every single moment of every day.  As it can all be gone in an unexpected moment.  And life will never be the same.  I Praise God for every moment that I took to watch her sleep, sit and rock her, do her hair fancy, cuddle and be still with her.
Carolyn has taught me what coming to the Father should be like.  She has always needed me.  Needed to be close to me.  Didn’t want to be with out me.  Followed me around trying to be like me.  Asking questions all day long how to do things right and how to behave, what things mean.  She has needed me to need her and show it.  She studies me and makes me watch my own behavior as I know she is paying attention and will mimic my ways.  She is very enduring to me because she loves me so much and tries so hard to be like me.  These are all things that I think pertain to how we should be with God.
Zeke has taught me to be totally patient and gentle in parenting.   The smallest correction crushes him and progress will come in time.  It isn't the getting there that is important, it is enjoying the journey.  That getting dirty is part of getting things done.  That our expression does not always show what emotion we are feeling.  That joy and perfection come in all forms.  He is such a unique and beautiful young man. 
Elizabeth has been intense to parent from the get go.  In her early life of serious fragility I learned to really trust God in the big and small things.  That there is nothing I can do in and of myself to fix anything or make it better.  I have to just stand on Gods Word and pray and He was more than faithful.  That God can stretch you to do things you never thought you could or would even try to do.  In Him you can do what He calls you to do.  As Elizabeth grew and her behavior became so intense, I learned what true unconditional love was, thru her.  The more we loved her, gave her grace and cared for her the more she was mean, pushed us away and said terrible things.   Most of us have done the things she has, to God, at one time or another in our lives.  Run from Him, broke His rules, pushed Him away, said things we don’t mean and He still keeps drawing us over and over and over again.  He loved us enough to send His son to die for us all.  He is faithful to be there for us, forever, when we humbly come to Him and ask for forgiveness and repent of our ways.   I have had to remember how God loves us, the grace He gives us, in order to lovingly stay the course of parenting Elizabeth thru those hard and rocky days.  To give her grace and a new fresh start every morning.  To put my heart out to be trampled on again and again.  As that is what God did for us.  Till we came to repentance.  And so we have done this for her, in her upbringing.  And praise God, she is coming around and doing great. 

I am beyond grateful to God for my life.  For this mothers day.  For my husband who is selflessly serving to me.  For each and every one of my children who call me mommy.  I am so very blessed.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;  Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

May your life be abundantly blessed this Mothers Day.  

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