No, really I would have. My youngest brother had two boys born to his family. My sister had two boys born to her family and I, at that time, had two boys born to me. We never knew if we ever were going to have any girls in our family. I never thought I would have the blessing of raising a daughter at all. Then came our foster care years and our first ever adopted child. Our sweet, beautiful Faith Ann. Our first daughter. For the first time ever I was able to enjoy the sweet giggles of a little girl and go into the girly section of stores to look at and buy pinks and purples, hair bows and ribbons. I never knew what I was missing till I had a daughter. I miss our sweet baby girl so very much.
As most people well know, I am a playing in the dirt, no makeup, wear clothing that is comfy kinda gal. But as my number of daughters climbed and their personalities came out they so loved ballet. So here we are. Several years into tights and tutu’s and big nights on stage. Nights like tonight. Where I see my girls giddy with excitement, butterflies in their tummies. They are so very excited that my sister and her husband (they brought them flowers!), sister in law and my niece (YUP! I finally got one! She hand made them cards for the evenings events!) a friend and our whole family are coming to sit and watch them up on stage.
Coaching each other and hugging each other every so often as they are so excited. I can’t believe I would have missed all this. I would have missed this. This absolute feeling of joy at having daughters….watching their silly, girly, feminine actions and life. Had Tim and I said no….no to the call of God on our lives when He spoke to us. Had we said no to either one of their referrals when we received them….I don’t even want to think of it.
Never knew what I was missing. Each of them. All of them. When I was pregnant with both of my biological sons I prayed for healthy babies as all moms do. But as God lead Tim and I thru life and opened our eyes to many things, so many needs. Stretched us out of our cookie cutter type life……..we said yes….one step at a time. One child at a time. And I never knew. Never…..how much I would love, how much I would love being called mommy by a child with autism so much. That I would enjoy daily the care and love of a child with Cerebral Palsy so much. That I would want to have such wonderful children around me with so many different special, unique, amazing needs. How much I would love being the help to them…the mom to them…..that I would want their struggles and lives to me my battles and struggle and life.
To the point of tears…..at what I might have missed out on in life. With out my wonderful children. My strong and courageous sons….My sweet giddy, happy, joyous ballet taking daughters.
And I cried. And we applauded. We applauded for everything that the doctors all said they would never do, for every hospital stay, for every therapy session, for every surgery, for every struggle in home schooling, for every fitting for leg braces, we applauded them in joyous gratefulness to God, of who they are and how they got there. I sat there amazed. Just simply amazed. That God trusted Tim and I to raise them and call them our own……our very own…daughters.
You girls did great! We love you now and forever!!
Daddy and mom
Matthew 18:10 - Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
Isaiah 65:23 - They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they [are] the seed of the blessed of the LORD, and their offspring with them.
Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.