Sunday, March 3, 2013

Zeke....I Love You!! And Will Always Listen To You.

I have learned this lesson before. (sometimes it takes me more than once to learn my lessons in life)  But I will always listen to the Lord and my kids before trusting a professional 100%.  When something that is said by a profession just does not seem or feel right, most of the time it is not right.  Now let me clarify.  I love professionals.  From Doctors to Dentists.  God has used them to save our kids lives and give them a higher quality of life at times.  But once in a while.  Once in a very great while. There is that one.  The one that is...well....just a non-professional professional.  Nuf said.

Years ago Antonio and all my littles (Carolyn, Elizabeth and Zeke) were all in glasses.  Antonio’s eyes were crossed when he came to live we us and no one had ever made him wear his glasses to correct that.  So meanies that we are, we did, and after three years his eyes were straight enough he did not need them anymore.  But when my littles were small, over time, as we got their eyes checked yearly, they all needed glasses.  Trying to keep up with glasses on so many small children was a challenge.  But they needed them so we always do what we have to do. 

When they first started to wear glasses they didn’t know their alphabet or symbols and were not very good at communicating accurately as they are all special needs.  They could not do the eye charts so I had to take them to a specialist (who had terrible bed side manners with special needs children) to have eye drops put into their eyes and the specialist could prescribe glasses from looking into their eyes.  But once the children all started talking well, I found a wonderful older eye doctor in town that took the Medicaid that our children had.  This man was in his eighties!   Tim and I liked him a lot and went to him ourselves.  One day, when I was there being seen, I asked if he thought he could do all my special children’s eye exams and get accurate results, as I was so unhappy with the guy we had been going to.  He was so excited that I asked and positive he could.  He was so patient and kind.  He really took his time to make sure each child got the best script for their eyes he could.  He loved my kids and yearly did a wonderful job. 

I have been a volunteer chaplain at our local hospital for 12 years.  Sunday is my scheduled day.  I go and do rounds and visit with every patient there.  As I was doing my rounds I started to see our wonderful eye doctor regularly in the hospital as a patient when doing my rounds.  He was a saved man.  Praise be to God.  So we had some really great conversations.  But sadly one week I went and had heard he passed away.  We were all so sad.  We miss him so much. 

The time came for my children’s yearly eye exam and I only found one other place in town that took the kids adoption insurance.  Medicaid.  So I made appointments and took them all in.  Right from the start I didn’t like this cocky fella.  He spent a huge amount of time with my Elizabeth.  But just briefly stood Carolyn and Zeke in front of the eye chart on the wall and said they both didn’t need glasses anymore.  What????  They had them for years.   I knew that Carolyn’s was a very mild prescription and in only one eye.  I always had to pay for a blank on the other side as Medicaid won’t pay for a no script lens.  But I had understood that Zeke really needed his to see well.  This guy assured me that both their eyes had improved and that they didn’t need them anymore.   This man was a professional so I said ok and we walked out with only Elizabeth getting glasses.

 Zeke does not talk a whole lot.  He is a quiet boy because of the autism.  I often have to tell him to use his words or to speak up as we can’t hear him when he speaks.  But he complained from the start that he could not see clearly anymore. That he missed his glasses.  But I had just had his eyes checked professionally and thought to give it time.   With Zeke’s autism one of the things is that he does not adapt to change well and I thought perhaps he just didn’t like not having his glasses as a part of who he was and his daily routine.  Also I could not squeeze the money out of our budget for a second opinion I would have to pay cash for it.  And it would be about 200 dollars for exam and glasses if I paid cash at the other eye doctors in town.  I had checked into it because it was bothering me so much.

I was very excited and relieved when the next year rolled around.  So I could tell the eye doctor that Zeke kept complaining he could not see.   The man took a good amount of time with Elizabeth once again.  Stood her up to try to read the chart.  Then sitting her behind the big lens changer thing and shinning lights from all angles looking into her eyes.  Yup.  She still needed glasses and in a stronger script.  When it was Carolyn and Zeke’s turn.  Same thing as the year before.  Stand at the line….  Read the wall chart…. And no…they didn’t need glasses.  I was watching…Zeke didn’t get many of the letters right.  And even though he still can’t read and is a little hard to understand, he knows his letters well.  I questioned the guy till he was miffed with me.  And I left with my face burn hot in Christian like anger.  I had wasted my one time with a medicad eye doctor for the year again and now would have to wait another year before trying to find someone new.  I could not do that to Zeke.  He had already went a whole year with out his glasses.   I was trying to give this new eye doctor the benefit of the doubt.  Trying to think in my mind that maybe he wasn’t intentionally doing what I thought he was doing.  Sigh.

Anyways, I am not going back to this guy again.  Tim and I just got back some tax money and the first thing we did was pay cash and take Zeke in for a second opinion.  And you know what?  My wonderful, precious, quiet, cuddly boy NEEDS GLASSES.  The new eye doctors said that is was not just such a slight prescription that he could get by without glasses.  That Zeke really needed them to see well and has a very bad astigmatism in one eye that would affect both near and far sightedness if not corrected with lenses. 

Needless to say I was livid with the guy that we had used the past two times.  I felt like going and giving him a piece of my mind!  In a loving Christian way of course.  :)  And have hugged Zeke and told him I was sorry it took so long to get him back into glasses.  I feel badly that me trusting a professional made me doubt my sons voice.  That he went without because of this man.  That my son, who has endured hardship and pain of all kinds and has so much against him in life was treated so badly by this man.  I pray for this mans soul.

Well, here is my son all happy with his new glasses that we went and picked up yesterday as we had gotten the call they had come in. 

You know kids.  They do keep me laughing and say the funniest things.  The day I had taken Zeke to have the eye exam.  We stopped to see Tim, at his work, so I could vent  I mean share, about my feelings towards the old “ bad guy” eye doctor and share with him what the new wonderful eye doctor said.  Zeke was royally spoiled as we always get a treat for the kid that just went thru the exam or had the doctors appointment.  So Zeke left with some food from his Daddy at Chick-fil-A.  And when we got home I told Zeke just because we had an appointment this morning there was still time to get in enough schooling to call it a school day.  He was not happy to go over to his desk and do school work. 
I went to work around the house with various chores and Zeke came up to me after a while and said.”I can’t believe you are making a kid that can’t see good do school work”  I about laughed out loud.  But kept my composure.  Even my sweet Zeke was trying to find a way to get out of doing his school work.  I sat down with him and told him that the eye doctor said he needed glasses, not that he could not see.  And that even kids that can’t see can do school work just fine and are normal kids.  So he grumbled as he went back to work at his desk.  What a cutie. 

Blessings on your day and life,

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

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